Bare with me here, I am definitely not as eloquent as K. Recently K and I have begun to discuss when the right time will be to purchase a new house. We have long outgrown our current home, which is natural since we moved in as a family of three, and are now a family of five. I get so excited at the prospect of not living in this tiny, cluttered house. Excited to not here Diva and Bud arguing because they have to share a room. Excited to finally have a separate kitchen and dining room. Just plain old excited.
We moved into this house expecting to be here for a couple years. It’s currently been 8. But that’s what happens when you grow your family, things come up. Other things become priorities and before you know it, it’s been almost a decade. We have definitely done things to make it more comfortable here. I don’t think there is a room in this house that hasn’t been remodeled , twice . But eventually there is only so much you can do and then it’s time to move on.
Last night after everyone was in bed I got up and looked around at the place I am so excited to leave. I realized that behind all the excitement is also fear and sadness. This is our home . The place we brought Diva and Bud home to. The place Red and then Diva became amazing big sisters. Where our kids have taken their first steps and their first falls. I feel like the memories must be ingrained in the walls. We have put so much love into this house. This is the first place in my life I have ever called home. How will I pass this on to someone else and how will I ever leave it?
We are a long ways off from making a decision about when the right time to leave is. Which I am now feeling grateful for. I don’t think I am quite ready to leave this place. So for now, in the midst of all the clutter and chaos, I will simply look around and remember all the things that make this house great. I will remember that this is not just a house, it’s our home.