Today I am struggling

It’s safe to say my schedule is officially catching up to me. This morning I finally woke up after hitting my snooze button one too many times (did you know that after an hour your alarm clock basically says ‘well I give up’ and stops going off?) and felt like I needed to grab the tape to keep my eyelids open.


I’m back in school right now on a path to become a CPA. I’m also working full-time, as well as wrapping up a few previously scheduled photography sessions.

Monday through Thursday is typically 5:30am – 7:30pm. That’s just physically being away from home. Then there is the homework, the photo editing, dinner, chores, catching up with the wife and kids, grocery shopping, appointments, errands, etc. Plus my wife is working full-time as well, and on top of that our girls are in cheerleading.

In fact, I have been so busy lately that I haven’t even had time to shave. So I have fully embraced the concept of growing a beard. And apparently, according to the “pros”, I’m not supposed to touch it for 6 weeks before I can start “shaping” it. So here’s pretty much what I look like in the mean time.


On the bright side, it REALLY helps hiding how tired I truly am.

Our lives have become a constant state of planning and schedule coordinating.

Quick proud daddy moment though. My oldest, Red, got accepted into the Lego Robotics club at school yesterday. One of only ten kids in the entire school who applied. I am incredibly proud of her as this was the first time she had to try-out for something that came with the risk of being denied. I got home from work and school yesterday and she was jumping around excited to show me.

And I struggled a little bit because while I am so proud of her one of my first thoughts was “how are we going to fit this into the schedule?”. Granted, we will make it work. We always do, and my children won’t suffer because of our crazy lives.

So we just add it to the schedule.

Now before I complain too much, I know there is a silver lining. A light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently taking 3 classes this semester, 2 on campus, 1 online. I am gone 4 nights a week. But thankfully one of my classes is only a 5-week course which will be done a week from tomorrow.

Just 8 more days and some reprieve. I will be down to having to only physically go to class 2 nights a week instead of 4.

And cheerleading will be over in about 6 weeks. So I can look forward to the calm before the holidays (yay for holidays!).

I have this internal struggle with myself on days like today where I question if it’s really all worth it. I have a good job, I can provide for my family without them having to go without. Based on my budget we could live comfortably and debt free off our current jobs after a few years of really buckling down.

But we won’t be able to really live like we want. I want to show my children the world. I want them to have life experiences that they are eager to share with friends and family. I want them to never have to go without. I want to get them out of the city and deep into the country.

It will be worth it. 2 classes a semester. Graduating December 2019. Pass the CPA exam in 2020. Take the next step up in my career. Relax, plan for the future, take care of my babies, put them through college, and hope for an early retirement.


3 years of short-term sacrifice to get to enjoy life with my family more than we already do.

I hope in the process I am instilling a good work ethic in my children and they don’t just see this as me being away from them. I truly am doing this for them.

“Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

On the bright side the time we have spent together as a family has been great. We have been cooking and baking like crazy. New items we have made in the last few weeks:

  • Bananas Foster French Toast – No change! This turned out amazing.
  • Chicken Fried Rice – Add more egg, maybe a fried egg on top.
  • Apple Pie – Flavor was spot on, bottom crust was very good, work on not overcooking the top.
  • Pumpkin Bars – Add way more cinnamon and nutmeg. Barely came through at all. The cream cheese frosting turned out great though.
  • Cheesy Corn Potato Chowder – Make sure the bacon is crisp, crisp, crisp. Other than that, this was a great, hearty dish.
  • Goulash – Cut waaaaay back on the salt. All other flavors were great. Cook pasta separately and combine when ready to serve so it can be cooked to al dente perfection.

I hope to be able to share these recipes soon. Especially since we plan on making them again at some point.

It’s been a lot of fun so far. Kids are learning (with hesitation of course). Plus we are learning to cook real food with real ingredients. Our cabinets are now filled with herbs and spices, and lots of baking ingredients. You’ll have trouble finding snacks and boxed items in our home anymore. It’s a good feeling having control of what is and is not going into our bodies. And teaching our kids the importance of eating healthier.

Lots of items on our learn to make list, which is rapidly growing daily.

.. but anyways, today I am truly struggling. I just need a good nights sleep (or two!) without having to wake up early to do something. Here’s to the weekend! Oh wait, girls have a game and A has to work. Sigh .. back to my music!


“Struggle is the food from which change is made, and the best time to make the most of a struggle is when it’s right in front of your face.

Now, I know that might sound a bit simplistic. But, too often we’re led to believe that struggling is a bad thing, or that we struggle because we’re doing something wrong.

I disagree. I look at struggle as an opportunity to grow. True struggle happens when you can sense what is not working for you and you’re willing to take the appropriate action to correct the situation. Those who accomplish change are willing to engage the struggle.”
― Danny Dreyer

Music, an escape within myself.

Parenting, and how somedays you just feel like a failure…

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