It’s a sad realization that while we often remember many of our “firsts” in life we tend to not even realize that our “lasts” have come and gone. We take life for granted and assume that we are promised a tomorrow. Sometimes tomorrow simply doesn’t arrive. Sometimes it’s in the literal sense and your physical life will come to an end. But many times it will be in the things you prioritize today that lose their importance. Your relationships are good so you stop trying. Your life gets too busy so you don’t want to sacrifice the little time you do have to something that doesn’t matter as much.
I’ve had a lot of lasts in my life that I didn’t even realize had occurred. The last time I spoke to a family member that is no longer a part of my life. The last time I attended a church I never returned to. The last time I played a game that I once really enjoyed. The last time I watched a movie or read a book that really made me think.
The last time my siblings came over just because they wanted to spend time with me.
The last time my children came to me for comfort, or to play with their hair while they fell asleep.
The last time I hugged my grandfather.
These moments come and go and we never acknowledge them or appreciate them for what they are. Because we assume these things will always come again.
So I will continue to be intentional. I will hug you just a bit tighter. I will hold your hand just a bit longer. I will tell you I love you one more time even if it annoys you. I will write you one more letter. I will buy you one more gift. I will surprise you with texts and phone calls.
I will love you just a bit longer.
I can hope and pray that tomorrow will be waiting for me, but I can not live assuming that it will be. I know all too well the heartbreak and regret that can come from making that assumption. And I live with it every day.
If anyone comes to mind when you’re reading this, make an effort to reach out to them and just tell them what’s on your mind. Remind them how you feel about them. Because if their tomorrow doesn’t come, shouldn’t they live their last day with the joy that comes from being loved?
The relationships in your life will come and go. As much as we hope that things will last forever, it’s honestly rare that they ever actually do. Sometimes people just stop trying. And people grow apart. It’s okay for that to happen. We are all unique individuals who have their own things going on. But just remember that there will come a day when you have your last meal together. Your last holiday. Your last laughs. Your last hugs. Your last goodbye.
Your last I love you.
It’s an honest reality. Yes, it can be sad, but it can also be beautiful. Live your life with this mentality and show your love as much as you can.
When my tomorrow, inevitably, doesn’t come I fear that those most important in my life won’t truly know how I feel about them. So let me hold your hand just a bit longer. Let me hug you just a bit tighter. Let me love you just a bit longer.
I love you. I promise you it is way more than you think I already show or tell you.