I'm come to realize that I have been self-sabotaging my life for years now. I've been a person who dreams big and never feels satisfaction in the victories. And I've struggled with understanding why that is. And after coming out of this last season of depression I think I've finally realized what it is. I've … Continue reading It’s Not About “Happiness”
To say the last month has been rough would be a major understatement. I've been struggling with another massive period of depression, and what has scared me the most about it this time is that I have been on antidepressants for 6 months now which are supposed to help. So there must be some pretty … Continue reading 2021 – The Year of Healing
What do you do when your good is not good enough? What do you do when your good is too much? And so this isn’t goodbyeThis is the realization that our souls have been eternally tied;The moment in time where I vow to always pray for you,And to wish you the best,And to love you … Continue reading What Do You Do?
My biggest fear is that eventually you will begin to see me the way that I see myself. Not my quote, but it definitely hits home. Today I am just going to share some things that I have found that have put into words the things I'm going through. I have a bad habit of … Continue reading My Biggest Fear
Until I can get into therapy I need this to be my safe place . I've lost too many of those and I need something that I can go back to and know will still be there. My own words aren't going anywhere. My own words can be extremely damaging, but they remain as long … Continue reading Expectations vs. Reality – Taking Responsibility For My Own Pain
Can you hear me? I know you see me standing here but can you understand the words that escape me? I try to keep them in but sometimes they spill over to make room for more. There are too many of them now and I don’t like it. It’s loud in here and it’s often … Continue reading Are You Listening?
*Current song to listen to while you read this... Toby Mac - 21 Years* Today marks 3 months since you left us. While I know you are in a much better place and are no longer in so much pain it doesn’t make it any easier. Especially around this time of year. I was supposed … Continue reading I Failed You
It's a sad realization that while we often remember many of our "firsts" in life we tend to not even realize that our "lasts" have come and gone. We take life for granted and assume that we are promised a tomorrow. Sometimes tomorrow simply doesn't arrive. Sometimes it's in the literal sense and your physical … Continue reading Just A Bit Longer
Life is settling in so I will have time to update this moving forward. To be continued by the end of this weekend...
I have come to realize that writing is the one place where I can quickly process my thoughts and get an answer to what's going on in my head. Sometimes I just need to sit down, get it all out there and then go back through and address what comes up. I have depression. Which … Continue reading It’s Okay To Not Be Okay… Until It’s No Longer Okay